Partnering with parents - part 1

"Partnering with parents." 

We use that phrase in our children's ministry. 

What does it mean?

Well I can tell you what it means as a Children's Ministry Director. 

It means having consistent small group leaders, 
the same hours,
every Sunday
for the entire school year. Because this is the best way for our children and parents to feel safe, to connect, to feel welcome and accepted, with a leader who is faithful and invests their heart and their time to care about each child and family in their small group. 

It means using curriculum that meets each child where they are 
at each age 
and developmental level 
so that they don't just adopt their parents faith and then lose it along the way 
but instead transition from believing what they are told, to understanding, choosing and living out their own, authentic faith and relationship with Christ.

It means providing environments where kids are allowed to 
move, 
play, 
be loud 
and ask questions, because this is how they are made and this is how they learn and grow.

It means finding and training and inspiring leaders to understand that EVERY child is made in the image of God, so that for at least the one hour per week they are here, they have a place where 
they see and are shown God's love for them, 
they are welcome and accepted,
they learn to give and receive grace,
they are valued and cared about.

It also means being intentional and consistent as parents and leaders about letting our junior high and high school students serve alongside our dedicated adult leaders now, so that they realize 
they can lead and make a difference today, 
not someday when they are "grown up". 
If we show them how and let them lead in areas where they are gifted now, 
they transition seamlessly from student leaders to adult leaders because they already know how. 
They learn that they are important and capable and God can work through them just as they are, instead of stalling when they finally become adults because they have been on the outside waiting to get in for so long that the steps they need to take to be a leader are overwhelming and they remember the feeling of being kept out more than what it felt like to want to serve.

This all works best when small group leaders and parents 
make the effort to communicate,
pray for each other and their children,
reach out to each other when there is a crisis or significant change in the life of the family, good or bad, so that they can comfort and pray with or encourage and celebrate with the child together.

When small group leaders and parents recognize their children's interests and gifts, then reach out to get them connected with a leader in that area of ministry as they enter junior high so that they learn what it feels like to serve, 
to think and care about someone besides themselves, 
to stop thinking about their own needs and problems for a while 
and care about the needs and spiritual growth of their small group, their church and their community.

As a leader I am passionate about this philosophy because as a parent I have proof that it works.
I will share those examples in my next post. Partnering with parents - part 2.

Until then - if you are not already here consistently during the same hour each Sunday I encourage you to change that starting this week. 
If you have not reached out to, or even met your child's small group leader, I encourage you to make that happen this Sunday.
If you or your junior high school or high school student is not serving already, call or email me and I will help you find out where there are opportunities in our church and community to start now.

We are better together,
Amy

Raising Adults

As the mother of two teenage boys, one 19 and one 16, there are days when it breaks my heart that they are not little anymore. That they no longer look up to me as the wonderful Mommy who has all the answers and can kiss their boo-boo's all better. 


I get it.



However, I have learned that if we don't parent in a way that plans and accepts this truth - that the goal really is for them to grow up, be independent and care for and raise families of their own - then they will grow up dependent, insecure and unprepared to take responsibility and face the challenges of adulthood.


It is definitely an uphill climb to teach them responsibility and character but the dividends for us and more importantly for them as they seek God's will and plans for their lives, is truly worth teaching them how and then reminding them for the millionth time (with patience and love of course....) to 

pick up their toys, 

take out the trash, 

clean their room 

or whatever task their age and responsibility level matches. To follow through and actually require them to be responsible.

Trust me and start when they are young and think you are cool and are excited about being big girls or big boys just like Mommy or Daddy. That window closes quicker than any of us imagine.


Click on the link below from Parent Cue by Reggie Joiner to read more encouragement about the importance of realizing we are raising adults not raising children. He is a co-author of the parenting study I'll be leading at our church - iargyle.com - this summer.

Blessings and Courage in Christ, 

Amy 



Raising Adults

Book Review: The Love & Respect Experience: A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love By Emerson Eggerichs

Book Review: The Love & Respect Experience: A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love 

By Emerson Eggerichs

As a wife that attends church without her husband, I was hesitant to begin a devotion that I would most likely be reading alone. Though there is always hope, reading it solo is what happened. However, it was definitely worth reading. I have the Love and Respect book and journal by the Eggrich's so I knew it would be good and worthwhile whether both of us read it or not.

God has taught me so much about marriage and relationships through the pages of these books. I have been married for 19 years and even though my husband and I are not in the same place spiritually, God has continued to grow and strengthen our marriage through valuable and biblical teaching found here. Even if you think you are clear on what love and respect means and how it relates to your marriage I would recommend this book. With everything that we have to do each day and all the distractions and frustrations in relationships, it is so important that we are intentional about refocusing on how to support and encourage each other. This devotion breaks down the "crazy cycle" that all of us find ourselves in and gives clear and helpful tools to stop the craziness and not only create but sustain a healthy and loving marriage!

BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book to review.

Simple teacher or class gift idea

This year for Valentine's Day I was looking for a cute and simple as well as affordable gift idea for all the teachers at our preschool. It's important to me to do something as often as possible to let them know they are valued and appreciated. I didn't find any on the regular internet places that I liked or that didn't require more supplies, assembling or baking. I did find a cute toothbrush gift idea that I turned into a pencil gift and wrote my own kinda cheesy but heartfelt poem to personalize it.

It would work for just about any special occasion. You can find packs of pencils for a dollar at lots of common stores that have cute patterns and designs for any holiday or season. Just write a sweet note from the heart, and no, it doesn't have to rhyme.

Love giving gifts to sweet teachers! Happy gifting!

Gratitude

Last Friday we hosted the Orange Tour stop here in Jacksonville for the last date on their schedule for 2011. I cannot explain what an honor this was. We Church at Argyle peeps are ORANGE!! If you don't know what that means check out this site http://whatisorange.org/

or for a quick overview, watch this video http://vimeo.com/28517659

I was first introduced to Orange at the Orange Conference in 2007, Pastor Ken and our staff sent me to with Rich and Mindy, when I was hired as Children's Ministry Director.

Since then I have taken leaders to the conference, taken leaders to an Orange Tour stop in Orlando and taken lots of leaders and kids to Camp KidJam, which are all Orange strategy ministries. What's amazing is that each time I learn something new, am encouraged and grow closer to Christ, become more equipped as a leader and come away excited all over again about the ministry God has called me to serve in! I could go on and on but I'll get to the point of this post.

This time, since we were hosting, I didn't get to sit in on every session. I did however, get to hear some of Reggie Joiner's main sessions and during one particular part I heard Sue Miller speak about a time in her ministry where she realized she had to make a decision. The decision was whether or not dedicating her "one and only life" to Children's ministry was not only worth it but what He was truly calling her to do. I am certain I was not the only one in the room who could relate to that. I could talk a lot about how much I love my job, which I do, and the struggles of serving the Lord in children's ministry but that is not what I woke up writing about at 1:00am Saturday morning. What was on my heart after hearing Sue speak and really from getting to know the whole team that gives their one and only life to help church leaders become equipped with God's word, love and the orange strategy to combine the influence of churches and families to fuel faith in the next generation, was a legacy. I woke up a bit overwhelmed with gratitude.

So, the following statement of gratitude is to Reggie and Debbie Joiner, Sue Miller, Lois Pallansch, Brad, Colette, Ryan, Kristi, Lauren, Warren, Ted, Matt, Josh, Kristie, Jeremy, Matt, Bre, Abby, Hannah (all the Orange Specialists and crew that make any Orange event happen) and their families, churches and everyone they love.

Orange has chosen to live out a legacy of leaders who spend their one and only life, speaking God's love, truth, wisdom and encouragement into new generations.

Can their be any more important mission?

Thank you for the time you spend away from your families, creating this remarkable community of people that shows us how to become and continue to grow, welcoming, intentional/strategic, humble bodies of Christ all over the world. I am struck by the choice of legacies we all have and how you've chosen this amazing legacy to live and share. I pray that the people who love you are blessed for supporting and putting up with your schedule. I pray that they and you understand the blessing you are to every person who shows up and is willing to share in this passion and vision for Christ.

This is the impact you have on people like me. Thank you for choosing this legacy.

Rumors of God: Experience the Kind of Faith You've Only Heard About by Darren Whitehead and Jon Tyson

Rumors of God: Experience the Kind of Faith You've Only Heard About by Darren Whitehead and Jon Tyson is a book about all those things we read in the Bible or hear from Pastors and think, well that's for someone else. I am just trying to live my life. That is only for those really strong Christians. The reality is what, we dismiss as rumors because acting upon God's call or stepping out of our comfort zones to follow Christ, are not rumors, they are truths that Darren Whitehead and Jon Tyson share and make real and reachable in this book.

Each chapter breaks down a "rumor", like Abundant Life or Grace and shares stories about real people and real ways we can each live and claim a life of abundance and grace. Whether you have been brought up in a Christian home or have just found your way to a relationship with Christ recently, you can relate to and be inspired by this book. Its not all about being a foreign missionary or starting a church. Its about finding God right where you are and using what you do and have to reach out to those around you. Loving the way God loves. Giving in real and life changing ways. Forgiving and what it really means.

This chapter on forgiveness was titled "Giving up your rights: Rumors of Freedom". As God would have it happen, I was reading this during a time when my life group was talking about betrayal, love and forgiveness and I shared quotes from this chapter because it spoke so clearly and directly to our questions and struggles. It all lines up with God's word and is so powerful and relevant to where the church is and needs to be today. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to live out biblical faith and realize that you don't have to be a pastor or "church person" to really make a difference with God.

The review copy of this book was provided by booksneeze.com for my personal opinion.

Regret-Free Parenting: Raise Good Kids and Know You're Doing It Right By: Catherine Hickem

Regret-Free Parenting: Raise Good Kids and Know You're Doing It Right, By: Catherine Hickem. I would recommend it for all parents but especially Christian Moms. Catherine Hickem's perspective and willingness to share her mistakes while lifting up God's promises and truths about intentional parenting and loving our children in a way that is easy to relate to and believe you can implement is powerful and motivating.

While I already understood that the learning part of being a Mom never ends, this book inspired me that even with a 15 and 12 year old there are things I could change or add to the way I parent that still could have a positive impact on my sons. Catherine Hickem has such a wise and real perspective on being a mom, how different each child is and how important it is to remember that you have to be intentional about being the "Keeper of the Vision" for them. She walks you through the different ages and stages and has a great section on finding peace during their teenage years. She does touch just lightly on the role of Dad's but if a Dad would take the time to read this book I think it would give him a much better view of why it takes both Mom and Dad's parenting and perspective and how important and valid both are in the life of their children. The review copy of this book was provided by booksneeze.com for my personal opinion.